Marriage or Wedding Ceremony



Note: All traditional ceremonies that are described reflect our 
contemporary practices of today.  Through history most of our 
ceremonies were not documented - now they are a combination of 
"oral history" and "pieces" of family histories.  Over the time
of several generations our culture and customs have changed as a 
result of many social and ethnic pressures.  As our elders have 
said "there are no right or wrong ceremonies - always do what your 
heart tells you to do." Do them in a good and sincere way and all 
of our relations of the past will understand - be thankful to your
ancestors that you remember them in your blood. 

Cowasuck Band - Pennacook - Abenaki People - Traditional Practices
Pennacook - Abenaki - Marriage or Wedding Ceremony

PRIOR ARRANGEMENTS -

Prior to any marriage agreement an exchange of gifts between the 
families is required.  A box (size not important) of birch bark, 
cedar, or some other acceptable material would be given from the 
MAN's family to the WOMAN and the WOMAN's family would do the same 
for the MAN.  The boxes would have to be decorated to illustrate the 
good virtues, skills, or other reasons why that they looked favorably 
on that person to allow for the marriage.  If no good could be found, 
the marriage agreement could not be made.


GATHERING & CIRCLE -

The Marriage ceremony is a major gathering for families, clans and 
friends.

Songs for the Gathering call everyone and an announcement of a 
marriage is made.  A circle of people is formed with the marriage 
party in the center.
 
Four (4) Men plus the MAN form an East to West line on the North side 
of the gathering.

Four (4) Women plus the WOMAN form an East to West line on the South 
side of the gathering.

This forms two (2) groups which face toward the Elder Man (Sag8mo) & 
Elder Woman which perform the marriage.  They are facing East in the 
center of both groups with the DRUM behind them.

Men's, Women's , and Gathering Greeting songs are sung.

The Elder Man & Elder Woman approach both groups separately to 
inquire about their intentions and about marriage between clans.


MARRIAGE POLE -

A Marriage Pole is put in place at the eastern entrance of the 
circle.  Anyone who does not approve of the marriage may strike the 
pole with a club, tomahawk, or stick.  This is done to show their 
disapproval.   The disapproval must be resolved by the families and 
elders or the marriage is stopped.  If no one strikes the pole the 
marriage proceeds.

 A blanket is placed at the base of the Marriage Pole as a place to 
place Marriage Gifts.   Colored ribbons signifying the two family 
clans of the marriage, are tied to the Marriage Pole.


PURIFICATION & PIPE CEREMONY -

Elder Man & Woman approach both groups together and the purification 
with smudge is performed - sweet grass is preferred.

A Pipe Ceremony and Prayers are made with the marriage group.   

Song of Medicine and Prayers is sung while the Circle is smudged.


APPROVAL OF MARRIAGE -

The Elders ask the group about their desire to give the two to one 
another. The Men's group offers the MAN and the Women's group offers 
the WOMAN for Marriage.
 
The Elder Woman takes the MAN and circles the marriage group, inside 
the circle of people, four (4)  times to indicate approval of WOMAN.
Love song is sung.

They return to the center and the MAN takes his place next to the
WOMAN facing the Elders.


GREETING & ANNOUNCEMENT -

Families and friends, we are gathered together in the sight of the 
Creator to witness and bless the joining together of NAME (Woman) and 
NAME (Man) in marriage.


INSTRUCTION & PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE - 

Marriage was established by the Creator, who created us male and 
female for each other.

With the Creator's presence and power we have been given the example 
of the love of husband and wife.

Elders explain importance of marriage and duties to one another.

Woman's role to control the lodge, food, family, spirit, culture, and 
medicine.

Man's role to protect the family, lodge, and food - to hunt and 
provide meat & game.

Both to Love and Honor All Relations.
 
 NAME (Woman) and NAME (Man) come to give themselves to one another 
in this sacred bond.


WORDS OF CONSENT BY THE MAN AND THE WOMAN -

I ask you now, in the presence of the Creator and all of your 
Relations, to declare your intention to enter into the sacred union 
with one another.

NAME (Woman), will you have  NAME (Man) to be your husband, to live 
together in sacred marriage?

Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and 
in health, and be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

Woman: I WILL.

NAME (Man), will you have  NAME (Woman) to be your wife, to live 
together in sacred marriage?

Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and 
in health, and be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

Man: I WILL.


RESPONSE OF THE FAMILIES AND PEOPLE -

The marriage of NAME (Woman) and NAME (Woman) unites their families 
and creates a new one.  They ask for you blessing.

WE ARE PLEASED BY YOUR MARRIAGE AND PRAY FOR THE CREATOR'S BLESSING 
UPON YOU. 

Will all of you uphold and care for these two persons in their 
marriage?

WE WILL.


PRAYER & SONGS -

Creator, giver of all life, Bless with your goodness NAME (Woman) and 
NAME (Man), who come now to join in marriage.

Grant that they give their sacred words to each other in the strength 
of your love.

Enable them to grow in love and peace with you and with one another 
all their days.

Kchi Oliwni.

Prayers song is sung.


EXCHANGE OF SACRED WORDS -
 
Man to Woman

I, NAME (Man), take you, NAME (Woman), to be my wife,
to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in 
sickness, and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted 
by death.
These are my sacred words.

Woman to Man

I, NAME (Woman), take you, NAME (Man), to be my husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, in 
sickness, and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted 
by death.
These are my sacred words.


EXCHANGE OF FOOD BASKETS -
 
Women's group brings Basket with Food - Vegetables.

MAN Presents Empty Basket to WOMAN.

Food from other Women given to WOMAN and presented to MAN.

Food placed in MAN's empty basket - WOMAN takes basket with food.

Harvest or Green Corn Song is sung.


BLESSING AND EXCHANGE OF RINGS (OPTIONAL) -

 These rings are the outward and visible sign of the unity of this 
couple.  Creator bless the giving of these rings, that they who wear 
them live in your peace and your favor all the days of their lives.

Kchi Oliwni.

Man to Woman

Name (Man), I give your this ring as a sign of our marriage.  
Woman to Man

Name (Woman), I give your this ring as a sign of our marriage.  


CIRCLE OF LIFE & BINDING OF HANDS -

MAN & WOMAN hold hands MAN on left side of WOMAN.
With this scared ring of sweet grass, which symbolizes the unbroken 
circle of life, we unite them as one.  This sweet grass ring is 
placed over their held hands. 

Sweet Grass Ring placed over held hands by Elders.  The colored 
ribbons of the clans are removed form the pole and also tied around 
their hands.


ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF MARRIAGE -

ELDERS acknowledge Marriage.

You have declared your consent and sacred words before the Creator 
and this gathering of family and friends.  May the Creator confirm 
your sacred words and union and bless you both.

Now that NAME (Woman) and NAME (Man) have given themselves to each 
other by their sacred words and with the joining of hands, I announce 
that they are husband and wife.


REMOVAL OF THE MARRIAGE POLE -

Those whom the Creator has joined together, let no one break apart.  
The marriage pole is taken down and burned in the fire.      


BLESSING OF THE MARRIAGE -

Creator, you have heard their sacred words of marriage.  We ask for 
your blessing upon NAME (Woman) and NAME (Man) that they keep their 
marriage union, and grow in love and goodness together that their 
lodge may be filled with your blessing and peace forever.

Kchi Oliwni.

May the peace of the Creator be with you always.


MARRIAGE DANCE -

Song - Round Dance - Recognition as Married Couple

MAN & WOMAN dance four (4) times around gathering group

People give gifts to WOMAN & MAN to put in basket and boxes -

Typical gifts to MAN - axe, knife, tools, hunting gear, etc.

Typical gifts for WOMAN - cooking utensils, sewing items, etc.


GREAT MARRIAGE FEAST -

Honoring Song for the Feast.

Feast for all at the Marriage Gathering.


Notes on Gift Giving & Feast:

While it is understood that the Woman & Man that are married will 
receive gifts, the families of them are obligated to give gifts to 
the Elders and Marriage party.  Gifts of tobacco to the Elders and 
the Drum are necessary for the Pipe ceremonies, Prayers, and the 
songs.

The families of the Woman and Man are obligated to put on the Feast.


Items Needed:

Marriage Boxes / Baskets
Smudge Bowl & Smudge
Sweet Grass
Pipe & Tobacco
Drum & Singers
Tobacco Gifts 
Marriage Pole
Colored Ribbons for Families
Blanket for Gifts
 Basket for Food Exchange
Food (Corn, Squash, Beans, etc.) 	
Sweet Grass Rings
Rings (Optional)
Fire
Gifts (for Marriage Party & Elders)
Marriage Gifts 
Feast Food

THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY: THE ANCIENT RITES -

According to the wampum records of the Passamaquoddy it was the duty 
of the young Indian Man who wished to marry to inform his parents of 
his desire to marry - he would state the name of the Girl.  The Man's 
father then notified all the relatives and friends of the family that 
his son wished to marry the named Girl.

If the friends and relations were willing, the Man was permitted to 
offer himself into marriage.  The father of the Man prepared a clean
animal skin (bear, beaver or deer) which he presented to his son.

With the skin, the Man went to the wigwam of the Girl's father and 
placed the hide at the back of the wigwam or Nowteh.  The Girl's 
father then notified his relations and friends, and if there was no 
objection, he ordered his daughter to seat herself on the skin, as a 
sign that the young Man's offer of marriage was acceptable.

The usual wedding ceremonies were then held, namely, a public feast, 
followed by dancing and singing.   These gatherings usually lasted at 
least a week.

THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY IN LATER DAYS -

Later in history after the Passamaquoddy adopted the Wampum laws the, 
marriage ceremony was more complicated and may have followed a formal 
protocol.

The young Man would inform his parents of his desire to marry a 
specific Girl.   The Man's father would then receive the consent of 
other relations and friends.   Following this, another young man, a 
runner, was appointed to be the Keloolwett or marriage messenger.

He would take a string of wampum called the Kelolwawei, and would go 
to the wigwam of the Girl's father.  Usually he was would go with 
many others who wished to witness the announcement.  He would read 
the marriage wampum in the presence of the Girl and her father.

This was a formal statement that the Man wanted to marry his 
daughter.  The messenger and his party, then returned to the young 
Man's wigwam to wait for a reply.

After the Girl's father notified his relatives and friends and they 
had given their consent, the wedding was permitted to go on.

 The usual ceremonies then followed.  The young Man first presented 
the bride to be with a new dress.  She, after putting it on, went to 
his wigwam with her female friends, where she and her group formally 
greeted him by shaking hands.  This was called Wulisakowdowagon or 
salutation greeting.

She then returned to her father's house, where she seated herself 
with her following of old women and girls.  The groom then assembled 
a group of his friends, old and young men, and went with them to the 
bride's wigwam to greet her in the same manner.  When these greetings 
were over a great feast was prepared by the bride, enough for all the 
people.

The bridegroom also prepared a similar feast.   Both of these dinners 
were cooked at an open fire and when the food was ready they cried 
out K'waltewall  ''your dishes.''  Every one understood this, which 
was the signal for the marriage gathering to come and join in.

The marriage ceremonies continued when the wedding party set 
themselves in their best dress and attire and formed two processions, 
that of the bride entering the assembly wigwam first.

In later times it was customary to fire a gun at this point as a 
signal that the bride was in the hall, whereupon the groom's 
procession entered the hall in the same manner, when a second gun was 
fired.  The Geptins (lower chiefs "Sag8mis" or the chief's "Sag8mo's" 
assistants) of the tribe and one of the friends of the bride then led 
the girl to the bridegroom to dance with him.

At midnight after the dancing a supper was served, to which the bride 
and groom went together and where she ate with him for the first 
time.  The couple were then addressed by an elder man (or possibly an 
elder woman), called the Noiimmikokemit, on the duties of marriage.

Finally, a number of old women accompanied the new wife to her 
husband's wigwam, carrying with them her bed clothes.  This final 
ceremony was called Natboonan, taking or carrying the bed. 				               

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